i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
