Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
