one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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