his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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