My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
