Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
