Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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