I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
