I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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