Do you still have your period?
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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