You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize