We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
