She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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