i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
