Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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