Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize