he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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