your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
