Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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