Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I love you. Go after that dick
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