WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
