Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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