I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
you win again, gameday.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Randomize
