I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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