apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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