i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Randomize
