I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
