She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
