He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
