i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
