shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
