guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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