i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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