the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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