the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
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