you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
