I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
