Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
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Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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