WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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