The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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