I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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