Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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