wat bout pragnant strippers??
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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