the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
