Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
