I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Randomize
