The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
