We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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