If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
