I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Found your dick twin last night
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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