Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize