id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
