HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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