But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
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I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
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There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize