yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
