I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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