i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
