Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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